I read a lot of blogs.

That might even be an understatement... And within those many, many blogs, are a good amount of Christian relationship blogs. Man, that sounds tedious. But I've got into them because of the people writing them, and the honesty with which they write.

Lots of these blogs hit notes with me, whether it's the balance of housework within a marriage, or being stuck in an "inbetween" (inbetween studying and working, renting and buying, being a couple and being parents etc). I so often go to start writing a comment, but in the midst of the comment I end up saying, "it's different for us though, we've both got chronic illnesses, so we have to work it this way, and it's like this because of it...", and so on and so forth... And then I hold down Cmd+A, and press delete. Because noone who reads that will understand. And I don't have the energy to explain.

You might be stuck in an inbetween, but at least you can actively do stuff! We're stuck in an inbetween where just making a meal is enough to confine us to bed spasming in pain. You might argue over who has to do the housework, we have to call our parents (who are pensioners!) in to do the most basic of chores because we just can't. We have to rescue the other person as their legs give way, literally pick them up off the floor and laugh through it all because it's the 5th time it's happened since we woke up a few hours ago.

Our life is unimaginable to you. But don't block it out of your head, because ME can strike anyone at anytime.



Just over 2 weeks to my DLA tribunal. Applied for taxi fares, here's hoping they'll pay...

It's the little things.

I think every young marriage, or couple who have moved in together, have certain balances to find. Specifically right now, I'm thinking of housework, and all that it entails - cooking, dishes, laundry, ironing, general cleaning; even locking up the house at night, or sorting out your bunnies.

I doubt it's ever easy to find this balance, but when you're both ill, it becomes much harder. We are lucky, we have parents who come over every week to help keep on top of the dishes, the ironing, the hoovering... You name it, really.

I often think, that for a healthy couple, it must be more a case of "who has the time?", and "who can be bothered?" However, we have an added third element of "who's well enough?" With the phrase "well enough" being very open to interpretation.

Whether it's because I'm the healthier one, or because I'm female, or because I like things clean and tidy... I end up doing a lot of the household stuff. And I mind for one simple reason - doing something as small as soaking a muddy pair of jeans to be washed can cripple my arms and hands to the point I can barely use them for the rest of the day. It's not just a sacrifice of time, it's a sacrifice of a lot of energy and pain reserves to just keep our house ticking over.

I can't begin to imagine how much art I could do without housework...

Which is why, if my husband is well enough to lock the front door one night, or empty the dishwasher one morning, it's almost as precious as being given flowers. It's him thinking of doing something, and sacrificing a bit of his health to keep us going. And I know how much that costs.

Disclaimer: my husband is more helpful than this makes him sound ;)